If... Not now... When?

The Obligitory Floor Model

if_opts_array(
	'IFCASES'=> array('gender' => 'male', 'gender' => 'female', 'gender' => 'mom'),
	'IFINCREMENT' => 1,
	'IFOFFSET' => NULL
 );
 
if($data) {
    //what to do with the first array value
break;
notnow:
    //instructions for the data after the first array value
break;
notyet:
    //instructions for the end array value
break;
when:
    //error handling
}

The Breakdown

This is a framework or built-in function idea. If your counting an array this gives you more incremental control at the cost of manually calculating your own offset but that's partially why one might use this. hence the simplistic ways of saying "zero"

if($data=array(), $options=array()[, $increment) {
elseifaka notnow, as in there's more to this loop template. bootstrap's grid replaces `

Hello World! I'm... just Angel

They say you should open with a joke so... Hello World!

I suppose it's only funny to me. You see, I've never written my, "Hello World!" introductory function in any language. Not to intentionally be a non-conformist, if anything I'm so oblivious to social cues that I don't conform because I had no idea there was something to conform to. I didn't write my Hello World function because, quite honestly, I trusted that the code in front of me was correct. I would later learn that the trust I had in that code, code someone else wrote, was trust that I would likely see only glimpses of. Not to sound like a basket case over a few miss, ; here and there (it's the time I spent looking for for the little bastard that I mourn the loss of). I guess, one could technically conclude that I'm not really a programmer. After all, I never took that first step!

The other reason I never take that first step is because I'm a guy and guys don't read manuals. If you believe that then I have to ask, how is it over there in middle management? Lol and you wonder why the copy machine prints crooked, here's a hint: what does it have in common with the stair steps you put in your landscaping, the tree you planted, and pictures you hang!

I tell ya, if I didn't know any better I might get the idea that those guys over there are trying to tell us something, but knowing them, it's something they only think we don't already know and in that case it's best not to correct them. If they realize what we actually know they'll start looking into things we actually don't know. Then corporate might think they actually need them and we'll have to start developing AI at some point during these 8+ hour days rather than coding automation scripts with:

Error: PC Load Letter
Sun, May 21, 2017, 11:54 PM

Oh come on, you didn't think that was a real error did you? Making copies are the number one task of middle management! They didn't do the writing, editing, dictating, or even the thinking. Hell, if they did the reading I'd be surprised! Their job is to hand things off and keep a copy to show that it passed through them. So if you really wanted to make an entire office of middle management employees shit a collective brick in unison, Office Space had the right idea. The jugular works for those who have blood circulation. For middle management, their only weakness is their copier.

So, as I was saying; I guess I'm not a programmer! I didn't take the first step and though I could do it right now I choose not to just because I like it this way, I'm really not a programmer anyways. I do it for ALL the wrong reasons. I started because I liked the designs I could make function by programming. I loved the attention for impressive functionality, and I loved the amount of money that was in it. I mean, you can't truly be something if you're just in it for the accolades right?

The last reason that I'm not a programmer is that I'm everything else! When I'm designing I am, of course, thinking about coding but when I'm coding I'm thinking about everything else on both large and small scales. I've been a criminal, a vigilante, a hero to someone, a villain to another, a champion, a loser, a moron, a mastermind, a problem, the solution, and many more opposites that experience-based learning brings (I did say I've been a moron, I wasn't joking). I'm never just there in the moment. I never just, "am." I'm constantly "I am, or at least was..." or, "I currently am not, but will be", but never just, "I am."

GitHub – angelxaces

Angel Aces

Seattle, WA

Hello! I'm mostly known as Angel and I like to think of myself as a ...